Porsche 911 Turbo S 2014 Review

There's no other way to describe driving Porsche's new 991-series 911 Turbo S than frustrating.

Frustrating that its explosive straight-line performance, just a tweak of the right ankle away, is off-limits if you wish to retain the right to drive.

Frustrating that its prodigious levels of grip and roadholding are barely approached on even the best local racer roads.

And frustrating, mostly, because unless I win Tattslotto, do something very illegal or find someone to give me a house so I can sell mine, I'll never get to park a white one with black wheels in my garage.

I can't give you a rational examination of the talents of the 911 Turbo S. It's too fast, too capable and too high on my wish list.

When yours truly drove it at its Australian launch at the Phillip Island grand prix circuit I was gobsmacked at how talented it made me look and feel. Even mucking about with cameras in the car I was lapping as fast as I ever have in a road car.

When I got serious and put in a couple of fair dinkum laps I went fast enough to scare myself. But never the Turbo S. Indeed, it took Porsche's newest favourite son, Herr Webber, to make the car raise a sweat.

That's the level at which the Turbo S operates. And it does so with what seems to be total mechanical superiority. It feels like it could lap as fast for as long as the tyres would last. On the street, it feels imperious — like it knows nothing it comes across is going to beat it to the punch.

We replicated Porsche's 0-100km/h acceleration claim of three seconds flat at the Island. Even without using launch control, the Turbo S accelerates away from a set of lights hard enough to make grown men squeal.

It literally took my partner's breath away. Once composure was regained, she giggled like a school girl…

Living with the car for seven days was an opportunity to learn a little of the other side of the Turbo S coin. And aside from the ride at times being noticeably sharp and occasionally noisy, there was very little else to fault the car.

The PDK double-clutch gearbox, so effective and accurate on the track, is almost as good as a conventional automatic transmission on the work day commute — including, unlike some others of the ilk, when parking or manoeuvring at crawling pace.

And the auto idle-stop system that Porsche has now rolled out across its entire range combines with the essential efficiency of the turbocharged 3.8-litre flat six to provide a surprising level of economy.

On a highway drive the average dipped below 9.0L/100km. After a week of being shackled to speed limits and commutes, our mileage was in the 11-litre range — no worse than plenty of four-cylinder mid-size SUVs. Yet the 412kW and 750Nm lurked instantly available.

But for the fact I was paranoid about blemishing the perfect 20-inch alloys, the Turbo S was a breeze around town — something that can't be said of many cars of this latent performance. The same rear-wheel steering system which helps the car blitz the Island's long, ultra-quick corners makes this 911 uber-easy in the cut and thrust of day-to-day driving.

I had kittens the first time the front-end thumped and jumped through the steering wheel when I was reversing into a carpark at full lock but was assured that was normal for a car with such large front tyres and aggressive geometry. Living with the Turbo teaches many lessons.

We even tested the 2+2 claims of the 991 series. Porsche says the extra millimetres in the wheelbase of this generation are chiefly aimed at delivering more room and the claim has some merit. But not much…

Although there's the potential to position an adult behind the front passenger (2+1 anyone) there's precious little rear headroom. Those looking for a four-seater coupe from Porsche should opt for the Panamera.

Better to drop the rear seats and use the parcel shelf for you golf clubs. I did.

If that anonymous bequest arrived or a Tatts win eventuated, I'd probably specify my Turbo S a little differently. No audio controls on the steering wheel seem an oversight and there are aspects of the current Porsche attraction to chrome and ‘tiz' that are generally unsettling…

And as I alluded to above, I believe every 911 should be white. Every one…

But make no mistake: I would be writing the cheque.

Alas unless that unlikely eventuality happens very soon, even it could end up an exercise in frustration. In this generation, only around 80 Turbos will make it Down Under and less than 20 of those will be the glorious S. My dream car clock is ticking…