Abarth 500 Esseesse 2014 Review

Let’s get part of the ‘minus’ list out the way first. The Esseesse’s ride is so hard it makes you wince at times and plan your routes away from speed humps. And no cruise control makes even short highway trips a pain in the wallet – I know. Thank you, Officer…

And if you drive it as intended you’ll be stopping for fuel more often than coffee (which if you don’t stop will spill, because the gearshift binnacle cup-holder is useless, as are the door pockets).

Then there’s the gear change that doesn’t always deliver cogs in pristine order – especially when it’s cold. Sometimes reverse can be hard to select, sometimes first. And if you leave your hand on the lever, the weight alone is sometimes enough to knock it out of gear. Big revs – how embarrassment.

Oh, and the air-con defaults to the minimum fan setting every time you restart the car. Unless, that is, you use the auto setting in which case every time you turn the key your coiffure will be re-aligned with hurricane force intensity.

And it’s too expensive. At near $35K it’s a whopping $9000 more than a Fiesta ST!

But, and it’s a big but, this is a car that despite all of the above (and more), still has the ability to put a smile on your face every time you drive it.

Powered by a willing and slighty rorty turbo 1.4, the 500 Esseesse is the sweet to the similarly powered Alfa Romeo MiTo’s sour. The Abarth’s a car that despite itself is better than the sum total of its parts.

And it’s almost the ultimate city-fringe warrior. Tiny compared to even small hatches, it will fit through most gaps in traffic and with 118kW (a ‘chipping’ takes this to 130kW) and goodly levels of torque, is quick enough to do so before those gaps close.

Indeed, it’s the torque of this little engine that surprises. In proper race trim the Assetto Corse was a short-shifting special – even on the big grades of Mt Panorama. The road car is a magnitude down the scale but is still a ‘chugger’ as long as you feed the car a steady diet of 98 RON PULP and leave the Sport button pushed.

Peak torque is available at 2750rpm – a diesel-like number. Gearing is short too, so it’s out of first almost as soon as you’re moving and let second and third do the work. In this regard it’s so much better to drive than the TCT afflicted MiTo.

Power and torque have to come from somewhere though and if you’re actually ‘driving’ the Esseesse it soon loses its economy-run numbers. Over the 3200km or so I put on its odo, the car averaged 8.7L/100km. Not exactly stellar for such a tiddler.

A couple of speed limit cruises to Phillip Island (as far as I took the car) and that dropped to around 6.0L/100km. A blast across the Reefton and Black Spurs had the number into double figures.

My complaint in this instance is not the mileage (there’s a two-cylinder 500 if you’re a hyper-miler), it’s more the range. The fuel tank of the Abarth is just 35 litres. There’s no real reason Fiat couldn’t fit one 10-15 litres bigger without affecting amenity.

Although at less than 3700mm long the Esseesse is almost 800mm shorter than a Ford Focus ST, you can fit four adults-sized beings onboard. And we did – on a number of occasions. Not for long journeys for sure, but short city errands almost always elicited a surprisingly positive response from back seaters.

Part of the secret for success here is the upright positioning of front and rear seats. The 500 has an almost mini-SUV sit-up-and-beg driving position that maximises space.

It’s interesting to contrast the difference in the H-points between the street car and racer. Even with the tilting seat at its lowest position you sit up high in the 500 Esseesse; in the 695 racer I could see over the dash-mounted instrument binnacle, but only just.

Two-up with the rear seats tumbled was how our Abarth spent most of its time, however. So configured it passes the pushbike test. It also coped easily with two large tubs of racesuits, helmets et al, plus spare wheels and a camera bag. I kid you not!

In the end it wasn’t the practical nature of the 500 Esseesse that endeared itself to yours truly, rather it was its mini-racer charm. Fat Abarth alloys and wide low-profile rubber stuck right out at each corner; surprisingly deep bass note to the big diameter dual exhausts and a racecar like turbo trill every time the throttle was blipped. Just plain fun.

I’m going to miss the little bugger.

2014 Abarth 500 Esseesse pricing and specifications:
Price: $34,990 (plus on-road costs)
Engine: 1.4-litre four-cylinder turbo-petrol
Output: 118kW/201Nm
Transmission: Five-speed manual
Fuel: 6.5L/100km (ADR Combined)
CO2: 155g/km (ADR Combined)
Safety Rating: Five-star ANCAP

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