Volkswagen Arteon 2017 Review

I've never really been a purveyor of art. I enjoyed drawing as a kid, I appreciate sculpture today more than paintings, but the term 'art' has never really inspired me… Until I took a stroll through the Musuem of Old and New Art, MONA for short.

Located in Hobart, Tasmania, one of the exhibits is a red Porsche Carrera, sans engine. It has been sculpted into something simultaneously repugnant and inspiring. What has this got to do with the new Volkswagen Arteon? It got me thinking… can cars be art?

Volkswagen wants to convince everyone the Arteon is indeed a three-dimensional 'objet d'art', and there's no doubt the sleek machine is one of the more esoteric car designs to emerge from the German giant's styling studios.

Its supports that assertion by pointing to the multiple creases in the bonnet, the multifaceted headlights, the clean and the simple brake lights by way of examples. But is it art, or just marketing spin?

That conundrum will be further considered a little later, but, from technological footing, the Arteon represents the pinnacle of what Volkswagen can do with a passenger car today – no ifs, buts or Phaetons.

It'll drive itself on the freeway and in traffic, steering, accelerating and braking, and you needn’t even touch a single button to change the music…Gesture control will take care of that. The boot (sometimes) opens with a waggle of your foot under the rear bumper, the car will unlock/lock itself without the need to get the keys out and it's practical too, not just a technological titan.

Moving On Up
The Volkswagen Arteon measures almost 4.9 metres long (4862mm) - making it very much a large car - the rear seats are roomy, comfy, have their own digital climate control and heating. I spent about half an hour in the back seat and had no problems working on my laptop.

Nappa leather is of a decent quality… but it's the front seats where you'll really want to sit.

Okay, so the dashboard looks almost identical to a Passat, which is understandable from a manufacturing point of view, but disappointing from an aspirational viewpoint.

Anyway, ergonomics, controls and functionality are first rate (which says more about the Passat than the Arteon). The 9.2-inch colour touchscreen infotainment system looks sharper than a samurai sword, has native Apple and Android smart phone connectivity and, as mentioned, gesture control.

The latter is a bit of a gimmick, only works on certain menus, and you have to swipe left and right very slowly, which makes you feel like a doofus. And, while the head-up display is a great feature, I wish every car had it, but the little pop up screen it's projected onto looks retrofitted, something you'd expect in a Peugeot or a Mazda, not a Volkswagen arguing its way into the BMW nightclub.

On the other hand, the active info display (nee, Audi Virtual Cockpit) is excellent, offering high-resolution road and car data, along with plenty of customisability including road maps. The steering wheel has a premium feel and all the buttons on it work well, which is just as well as there are plenty of trip and map functions through which to roam.

The 14-way adjustable power sports seats are pretty trick – comfortable on longer journeys – and the driver even gets a massage function which I really liked.

Personally, ambient interior lighting doesn’t flick my switches, but, for those who are keen, there are three colour choices: white, blue and yellow.

Some of the other interior convenience features include key personalisation - so the mirrors, seat and driver assistance settings can be mapped to different keys – and a driver's seat which slides back when you get in and out of the car, improving entry and exit. The only thing missing is a power adjustable steering column.

Wander around to the back of the Arteon and there's a big boot, measuring 563-litres. You can fold the rear seats down to open up more room, 1557L in total. A full-sized 19-inch or 20-inch spare wheel is also a boon, while elastic netting helps secure smaller bits and bobs.

The liftback design won't be to everyone's taste, but the fact that, unlike a sedan, it hinges above the rear window, improves access to the cargo area.

The Artful Dodger
Based on the Volkswagen Group's MQB platform, which also underpins vehicles like the Audi TT, the Arteon is both a little bit sporty, and a little bit luxurious.

Australia only gets one model and power comes from the same engine as the Golf R – the turbocharged 2.0-litre four-cylinder which belts out an impressive 206kW between 5700-6500rpm and 350Nm from 1800 to 5600rpm. Drive is via a seven-speed automatic transmission and Volkswagen’s 4Motion all-wheel drive system.

It's not as fast off the line as the Golf R – the Arteon is bigger and heavier at 1658kg – but, aided by launch control, dispatches the zero to 100km/h dash in 5.6secs. Not what you'd term slow.

By the same token, the refined powertrain can be slotted into 'Eco' mode, cutting claimed fuel consumption to 7.5L/100km. A 66-litre fuel tank ensures a fair cruising range, but, at the bowser, a diet of 98 RON premium fuel will hit your hip pocket.

My best effort, which included a not insignificant amount of spirited driving, was around 9.8L/100km.

On the subject of dynamics, the Arteon acquits itself well. It's no Ninja Warrior, but on the open, flowing roads north of Hobart it had a flat stance, generated ample grip and punched out of corners with surprising vigour.

Overtaking is easy (and fun) and you can even turn the exhaust note on or off… which suggests it’s synthesised. But who cares?

The Volkswagen Arteon is generally a very quiet car, until you hit coarse-chip bitumen and the optional 20-inch alloy wheels roar like Tarzan pre-beast battle. The standard 19-inch wheels aren't much better.

It features an astonishing 43-mode adjustable damping system to change ride quality from super cushy to ultra-sporty and everything in-between.

I'm a little dubious whether setting number 23 is noticeably different to number 24, but the softest setting makes things pretty comfy, while the stiffest setting sharpens its dynamic resolve.

Overall the Arteon is an accomplished vehicle which drives well for a big car, despite the fact most owners will only ever drive it to the golf club or marina.

Art vs Science

With the kind of driver assistance functionality you'd expect in a high-end Audi, the Volkswagen Arteon does a good job of taking the stress out of driving.

For a start, there's one of the world's best autonomous emergency braking (AEB) systems, which will brake the car automatically at speeds between five and 250km/h if it thinks you're about to have a stack.

The below five kays bit is covered too, by a slow speed manoeuvre braking system (1-10km/h), but it's purposed more for busy urban car parks.

Then there's radar cruise control with five distance settings, accelerating and braking the car without driving. It's augmented by lane assist and lane guidance, which takes over the steering wheel and keeps you in your lane. It will even navigate around mild corners and is one of the better systems I've tested in recent time, pipped only by the omnipotent Mercedes-Benz E-Class.

We didn’t get to test the traffic jam assist function, which can reportedly control the car in low-speed peak hour traffic, and there's also a proactive occupant protection system which monitors vehicles approaching from behind and preps the car for a rear-end collision. That one wasn't tested either… thankfully.

There's even a new Emergency Assist with Emergency Lane Change Assist system, but who is going to remember that? I call it the ‘heart-attack mode’ as it initiates if the Arteon detects a lack of driver input – as you’d expect from a loss of consciousness or a heart attack – and it will automatically pull into the left lane, avoiding other cars, then off the road and come to stop.

There's also rear traffic alert, side assist, a multi collision brake system, automatic high beam assist, automatic parking functionality and, for the first time in a Volkswagen passenger car, a 360-degree area view, which uses four cameras to paint a picture of your surroundings.

Now, back to cars being art. In my view, the Alfa Romeo Disco Volante is vehicular art. The Volkswagen Arteon, well not so much. But it is a striking design which will take pride of place in Volkswagen showrooms, turning heads particularly in its wild Tumeric Yellow colour scheme.

There are seven colours all up and the pearl black looks really good with the dark 20-inch alloy wheels, if you ask me. But will it be enough for a BMW or a Mercedes buyer to jump in? That’s a tough one because there’s no denying the Volkswagen badge just doesn't have the distinction of the premium German marques.

Volkswagen isn't looking for sales with this car, just a hero, a protagonist to showcase its latest technology and design. By any measure the Arteon fulfils that brief perfectly and will appeal to aspiring Audi buyers who don't have an Audi salary.

2017 Volkswagen Arteon pricing and specifications:
Price: $65,490 (plus on-road costs)
Engine: 2.0-litre four-cylinder turbo-petrol
Output: 206kW/350Nm
Transmission: Seven-speed dual-clutch automatic
Fuel: 7.5L/100km (ADR Combined)
CO2: 170g/km (ADR Combined)
Safety Rating: TBA